This last year has been really hard challenging. The years we lived in South Dakota, away from family and snowed in, surviving deployments and 7 months without income and feeling like a black sheep in the middle of a flock was hard. This is different. The joy is overwhelming, the blessings have been continuous, God has been very faithful to us and is teaching me to be thankful and patient.
I have not even begun to wrap my mind around what God has taken us through, what He is still taking us through enough to figure out how to write about it. Even as I write my words feel like a jumble in my heart and head. We are growing in God like never before. I thought I trusted him and had faith to move mountains when we went through Kwesi's adoption. That was basically a warm up. I look back and I was so spoiled. We had amazing health insurance for the whole family, we had a SET income, not an extravagant one by any means, but at least we knew what was coming and when!
We moved down here and took this gigantic leap of faith with basically no income lined up. Jeremey's parents were extremely generous and opened their home to us for an undetermined amount of time while we sorted things out. That lasted 3 months and God bless them for it! I know that while the crumbs have been swept and the toys cleaned out, there are a few knicks and marks and scratches on things that weren't there before our tornado of a presence. Not only that, Jeremey's dad employed him for the first 2 months while Jeremey prayed for something to work out. You have to know Jeremey. He is like MacGyver on steroids. There is no containing his creativity and intuitiveness to figure things out and get them done. I KNEW God was going to give him the job He designed for him to have, not just any job. So we prayed and waited. Enter...Chuck It. An amazing opportunity to buy a dumpster rolloff business and Jeremey gets to use his ingenuity daily. With our equity from the sale of our home in RC, we had enough to buy it nearly to the penny. Only God can do that and we have no business debt. Only God.
After the couple months of Chuck It being swamped and catching up on bills things slowed down came to a rapid halt. And while bills kept stacking up, God continued to watch over us. I don't really know how, but by lots of prayer and God's provision and Jeremey's stick-to-it nature we managed to make rent (late, but nonetheless) last month and on time this month. The important things (water, electric, gas, groceries) are there. Through the blessing of some friends, and grandparents, we even had Christmas presents for our children that we were able to get 2 days before Christmas and we were able to go see my grandparents. Only God.
His favor has not left us. In fact, I believe it is on us more than ever before. Those whom God loves, He disciplines. We are certainly being taught to be content. When I'm praying for enough $ to buy things like toothpaste, shampoo, and dish soap, I forget about all the stupid things I thought I wanted before.
I hesitate in even writing these words because I DON'T want pity or anyone to worry. We have everything we need and so much more! That is the point of this post. We have never been happier, never been more full of joy, and I am thankful for every moment God gives me where I have NOTHING to rely on except HIM. Our children have what they need. Sometimes I wish we could give them more, so much more, but a grateful heart and a happy loving home and JESUS are the things that count.
I think that's how God feels about us, He wants to give us everything, but it's not always what is best. So sometimes, He just gives us what we need. And while it pains Him, he waits it out a little and looks to see if we will trust Him or turn into spoiled brats demanding more or worse...turning our backs on Him. You know how that goes...you get your kids 50 presents for Christmas and then they are looking for #51 or fighting for what their sibling got that they didn't get. I'm so glad God hasn't given me everything I want, because I would be a spoiled brat. I'm so glad He has made me thankful when I have only a little, because when He does choose to pour out provision and blessing on us, I will appreciate it a lot more than I would have. I am TRULY content, right here and right now.
