In order, the last six months have consisted of the following:
....Bringing home precious darling #4.
....Managing a household of six and getting used to being a mom of 4 kids under the age of 6.
....Being out of the blue called to and accepting a calling that involves an across country move as well as a radical leap of faith for provision of husband's career and finances.
.....Having two weeks to process emotionally what is happening while staging a house and packing for a family of 6 for an indefinite amount of time whatever can be squeezed into a 8x10 trailer and a Suburban.
....Move across country, and in with the in-laws while still adjusting to precious baby #4 who has just reverted big time due to the changes so let's start from the beginning again while still getting used to being mom of 4 kids under age 6 (beginning to sound redundant am I?)
...Keep 4 children from destroying all things owned by in-laws.
....Do all the things that a move requires from changing address, enrolling kids in new schools, learning the uniforms, figuring out health insurance, selling the house, looking for a new house, trying to get approved for a new mortgage, blah blah blah..you get the picture...all while not hardly seeing husband ever because he is off trying to figure out how to feed family of 6, respectfully and thankfully so.
...Adjust to new church home, how things are done there, what the people are like, learn their names, fall in love with a new group of teenagers, wish that we had more time to spend with/for them!
....All this while in school full time. Eek. And somehow kept my Dean's list status. (amazing, I know. It helps that most people in my classes can barely spell their own names so it makes me look really smart. sad but true fact. sorry if that offended you.)
....Just for kicks, decide as a couple after much prayer to buy a new business and to become self-employed, change line of work completely minus a few part time hours devoted to ministry.
....AND move into a new rental house which is exactly 1/2 the size of previous house. (small but LOVELY and cocooned in a brocade of trees which for those of you that really know me, you know I LOVE.)
God really yanked the rug under my feet on this one and I'm really glad He did. There have been some really rough patches, moments of joy, releasing freedom and some times that knocked me to my knees. It got my attention. It has been 3 months chocked full of lessons. I am pretty sure that if God has a boot camp for Christians who have started getting bitter and stagnant, I just went through it. Um...except I somehow didn't get flatter abs. What I did get was some serious refining fire. I think that I have come out of this a little better than I was before. I am a lot less selfish. I realize that what I thought was love for people and love for ministry really needing a lot of improving and was much more self-serving than I care to admit. I know now that I am called to an amazing group of teenagers, and an incredible church, and a city that needs me. And I am called because He has already planned to use me here, right now, to achieve His purpose. This isn't about me, and I don't get to hem and haw over the travesty of leaving behind security (somewhat), health insurance, our home and whatever else I thought I could depend on. God said go to Ninevah (ahem, Nashville) so we went. We didn't run to Tarshish and we didn't wait. So I trust Him to take care of us. He won't leave me. You might see a pile of soot from where I have come out of the fire, but I'm not burned- I just got this layer burnt off that really needed to go. There are no scars. Just joy in obedience, a lot learned, and a lot still to learn.
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