Coming Out of the Desert with My Head Up!

I really am amazed.
Amazed at how God works.
Here for months I have been praying,
wondering, hoping, wishing, waiting,
praying some more....at times wanting to just
totally.give.up.

In Exodus 13 when Pharaoh let the people go,
God did not take them the shortest route through to the Promised Land.
Instead he took them the long way.
So that they wouldn't go back.

This is funny to me because even though the shorter distance might have been more difficult in some aspects,
40 years in the desert wasn't too difficult for them to want to go back?
They kept going. Even when their faith wavered,
when they complained,
when God answered time and time again.
The kept going, they didn't go back.

And if they hadn't walked for 40 years through that desert,
 the Promised Land really wouldn't have meant as much to them, would it? 


"So I am willing to endure ANYTHING if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen. This is a trustworthy saying: If we die with him, we will LIVE with him. If we ENDURE hardship, we will REIGN with him. If we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, HE remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is." (2 Timothy 2:10-13, emphasis mine)

I'm glad this has been a hard journey. It WILL bring salvation and eternal glory to some along the way, one of those I believe will be Akwasi. I am thankful for a very long walk in the desert, and I now see it.
I see the Promised Land....
It's still far away but it isn't a mirage. It's real. And we are moving towards it, walking side by side with everyone who has helped us get there. So many friends have helped us, and family. I believe God is going to drop it in people's hearts to help us the rest of the way like only He can do.

It's humbling, that kind of feeling you have when you know you can't do something on your own and you have to ask for help. When you have to accept someone's gift because you know how badly you need it, and how much God is going to bless them for it, even though your pride says to say you can't accept it.

In the last 3 days, after doing the Both Hands Project, we have received $2090 in donations.  In the weeks before the project, we received $1300 worth of donations from friends, and another $400 from family. Today we got a letter in the mail that we received a $2500 matching grant from God's Grace Adoption Ministry. When family or friends send tax deductible donations to them referencing our adoption, they will match dollar for dollar up to $2500. We are so thankful for all of this! The donations keep pouring in! God's help has arrived and I am so thankful....there.are.no.words.

One step closer to holding our precious son in our arms. Out of the desert, across the water, to bring home Akwasi Tru.

When There Is Not Enough of Me!

I have been a little overwhelmed lately with life, but as usual I bring this on myself! I have been taking my first college class the last couple weeks (since the last one I took in 2004!) and while I love learning and love class, I am trying to figure out how to add yet another spinning plate to the balancing act. I don't ever want the kids to not get enough of me because of my pursuit to finish my degree so I can finally be a teacher. So I have to get up really early, or go to bed really late, or not have a perfectly kept house. These things are ok with me. I'm just adjusting! Sometimes I crack up at the responsibilities that over the last few years have just managed to make themselves scream at me, "feel sorry for yourself for having to do all this!" and some days I do. But other days, like today, after waking up at 5:30 in the morning to try to work out, take a shower and squeeze in some homework before the morning chaos began, I remind myself what a joy my life is. These precious little ones running around the house, making noise and silly games out of everything. There is nothing like it. I am blessed to sit under a roof, and have the opportunity to finish school. These are privileges, not rights. I am so blessed. There won't always be socks and cheerios on the floor, but for now I am choosing JOY in the moment. I stopped everything this morning to scoop Aubrey up in my arms, sing her a song, and read her a book. By the last page I think my eyeballs were literally hanging out of my head, but I was so glad I enjoyed that moment with her. She walked away and said, "mom, I love you TOO much" and then spouted off some random quote about being a super-hero that she heard on super-readers earlier this morning. In between changing a poopy diaper, making the kids breakfast, remembering that I needed coffee, ironing their clothes for school picture day, answering the phone only to tell the telemarketer now is really not a good time!, remembering that I never finished my coffee and oh yeah I never ate breakfast either, making my breakfast, getting school papers ready to go, lunch made, shoes on everyone, and out the door....I realized something. This IS MY LIFE right now as GOD himself has given it to me and I CHOOSE JOY. Where there is not enough of me, there IS enough of Him. I don't know what I'm doing. Half the time I fail. As I write this, there are peas on the kitchen floor from last night's dinner. Oh well, I am choosing to be full of joy instead of mad at those peas.

A surprise for us!

No, we aren't pregnant!

I received the long-awaited phone call on Friday from our adoption agency that the family "before" us (in the intangible cue) was able to receive their adoption decree by power of attorney. What does this mean for us? This means that we can go to court in Ghana, without actually having to go to court in Ghana! So, no 10 day trip for us in September! I am so excited about this for 2 reasons...1) it saves us $3000 on plane tickets and 2) I was really not looking forward to spending a week with Akwasi, only to have to leave him and come home for 6-8 weeks.

Now our tentative schedule, hopefully to happen in November, looks like this:
Saturday- fly in and gain custody of our little boy!!!!! =) !!!!!
Monday- visa interview
Thursday- hopefully receive visa
Saturday or Sunday- get back home with our precious Akwasi in arms =)

What's amazing about all this is that God is doing a miracle! I prayed several months ago for God to miraculously make this a one-trip adoption, even though it's never really been done that way. I didn't want to leave the kids twice, pay airfare twice, all those things. God is so good to answer a prayer of mine that I almost thought was impossible, but remembered Jesus' words

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "move from here to there", and it will move. Nothing is impossible for you. (Matthew 17:19-21)

What is the point of praying?

Gotta share this amazing story! I found a prayer journal of mine from 2004. We were living in Iceland, had no children yet, and I was praying for God's will for Jeremey & I's life together to start happening! We had no plans of getting out of the military, or of moving to South Dakota. I prayed in March 2004 that God would open the door one day for Jeremey and I to have a ministry together (in my mind, I was asking for 18 years down the road, when I "knew" Jeremey would be retiring from the Air Force). When I prayed that, I wrote down that God was showing me a picture of a youth group and I didn't understand what that meant.

4 months later, the base we were stationed at closed down. We were given two choices on where we could move. Clovis, New Mexico or Rapid City, South Dakota. Jeremey had to decide on the spot, there was no time to think it over- so he went with his gut feeling and chose South Dakota. Little did we know the Lord's plans for us here. Not 5 years later we are out of the military, and serving God in full time ministry which we STINKIN LOVE! Before you go thinking, aw how cute their life is perfect....there are frustrations! Like the constant attacks from Satan, dude is that getting old! And I kind of feel like Moses when He was telling God, "but I am not a good speaker, why would you send me to talk to Pharoah. Please send someone else!" Except I have said... God, I don't really like people sometimes! They frustrate me! I can hardly deal with myself! Why would you put me in ministry when people drive me nuts?! lol probably to teach me a lesson on how to love people more. That's God for ya.

Even more so, I can feel that God is preparing me for something. I am praying huge prayers of faith, like I did in 2004 and I know I will see them come to fruition. I can't handle 3 kids, or 4 kids, not on my own anyway. But God is with me and He is stretching me, preparing me, working my heart everyday like a piece of clay in his hand until He gets it ready for use. Not that I'm not being used now, but boy do I have a ways to go before I am ready for a new purpose.

When we moved here, I read about Pine Ridge Reservation. My heart felt like it was leaping out of my chest as I read. I told Jeremey, " one day I want to go there, do something for God." He wasn't so excited because of the level of danger and kind of discouraged the idea. I of course, with my stubborn nature, prayed anyway. Fast forward 5 years, and God has ordered our steps and for the first time, my feet landed on the ground in Pine Ridge just a couple weeks ago. The Dream Center has been built. God is doing something, and has been doing something HUGE on Pine Ridge for the last decade, but something new is happening. Prayers are being answered, lives are going to be changed. Jeremey and I are soooo very excited to be forming a coalition of youth pastors who will help make this happen. God is so good.

Another prayer answered- I am going back to college to finish my bachelor's in elementary education. I got Pell Grants (thank you Jesus!) and FAFSA loans to cover the rest- but we were looking at $19,000 of loans. Which didn't thrill me, but I was moving forward. My prayer has been that I will get to teach at a low income school, well come to find out the government has a program where if I work at a low income school for 5 years they will forgive $17,500 of my student loans. WHOA! So for $1500 I am going to finish my degree! Did I mention GOD IS GOOD!? Every single one of the schools on my list (General Beadle, Pine Ridge Elementary, and Black Hills Children's Home) are on the government list for this program.

THAT IS THE POINT OF PRAYING!

Daring to be Extravagant

So I'm reading this book called "Extravagant" here is what it says on the back,
"When we realize just how extravagant and outrageous His love is for us, it unleashes in our hearts and minds an extravagance of devotion that transforms life into an experience previously inconceivable. But that's not all. Our extravagance of devotion prompts further expressions of extravagance from God......All throughout the scriptures, we see that lives of extravagant devotion and surrender to Him captured the heart of God. And they still do."

Here is the challenge:
"Recognize how much He loves you. Offer Him your devotion and whatever resources of time, talents, and treasure you have, so He can bless and multiply them. It may be all you have, that's what makes your gift extravagant." (like the widow who gave her two pennies, all she had to live on.)

Here is what is awesome!!!!
"When you do the simple deed of giving it all to Him, He'll work miracles and touch others through you in a way that will make you eager to see where the cycle takes you next."

~ This has just blown me away because my prayer lately has been this crying out to God, " I don't want to be a mediocre Christian!" I don't want to be luke-warm! I don't want to be held back by any fear, any anxiety, any worry, any worldly distraction from what job God has for me while I am here on earth. What could God do through me if I were totally 100% sold out to doing what He asks, no matter the sacrifice, no matter the cost? With a God as powerful, and omniscient as ours, there is no limit to what He can do! Psalm 14:2 says "the Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God." I want that to be me!

It is chilling to think that many Christians, who think that they are saved, will indeed find out that they never knew the Lord. The Lord is clear about this in His word, and I had to ask myself the last week or so, how do I know that isn't me?! In Matthew 25 God separates the sheep from the goats, and for those "christians" who even did miracles in his name, they will not have an eternal reward because they turned a blind eye to those who were poor, thirsty, hungry, naked and had no shelter. Is God really saying what I think he is saying here? If so, the world is in trouble, and so are christians.

Last night on the news I saw that $136 million dollars was spent throughout the world on the box office premier of the smurf movie. Will we not be called into account for the fact that in one single night of spending we could have ENDED world hunger!?! This is the world we live in and it makes me sick! As long as I have breathe, I will do what I can to change things for someone. To change their circumstances and give them hope. To put water in the hand of someone who is thirsty. God strip me of all that makes me selfish! I dare you to pray that for yourself! What would God ask us to give up? Would we give it up? I know He is showing me TONS that I can give up, and MORE I can give, even though in my feeble mind I have little. To the world, I am wealthy.

 A missionary to China for decades said that when he first became a Christian in his 20's, he asked his pastor what to do next. Since he had been a struggling alcoholic, along with lots of other problems, his pastor didn't know where to start so he sent him home with his Bible and said "read it and do what it says." This brand new christian turned to the story of the rich young ruler, who Jesus told to sell everything he had to come follow him. So that is exactly what this brand new christian did. He sold everything he had, except for a couple pairs of clothes, a backpack, his Bible, and a flashlight. Hearing his story, decades later, he said, "the best thing for me was the fact that there were no mature christians around when I read that story in the Bible. They would have talked me out of it."

New Pictures of Akwasi

It's funny how God knows what we need, and when we need a pick me up. I woke up this morning feeling rather "blah" and just thought today was gonna be one of those days I gotta get through. Well, not an hour later and I received the email I have been waiting on for a couple of weeks, with new pictures of our baby boy. Proverbs 13:12 Says this: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Please pray that we find favor with the Ghanaian court system and that our paperwork is expedited. Please pray for us as we continue to seek God's provision for the remaining $18k+ that we have to come up with in the next 60 days. Please pray for my health- satan has been trying his best to attack my health, I have been struggling with motion sickness, travel anxiety, blood sugar issues, and the list goes on. I am normally so healthy and I know this is just a distraction, I am a conqueror though Christ who gives me strength! We need your prayers! Please pray that Akwasi stays healthy in the orphanage, and safe.

Thank you friends& family for all your support, and your prayers. We have been blown away by God's provision through some of you, and are so humbled to be a part of his AMAZING plans for Akwasi's life and ours.

The Miracle just got sweeter =)

Here's an amazing update for you! The urologist called back last night @ 5:30 and said, "We have cancelled your surgery date because there is  nothing to fix." They are stumped by the enlarged kidney, which shows chronic blockage, yet there is no blockage. I told her that I was certain that I knew what happened- and I told her about the prayer that Jeremey prayed for me the night before the test last week. Rather akwardly and hurriedly, she said, "ok, maam...good luck to you...there is nothing else we can do for you." !!!!

This is an indisputable miracle of God, because in 2007, the CT scan showed a major blockage that needed to be operated on. This isn't the kind of blockage like a kidney stone that just dissolves, it is literally a blockage that has to be surgically fixed, and a stent put in to reopen the closed area. So God healed me without question!

I told the Lord in my journal 2 weeks ago in relation to God's provision for our adoption, and all of life really... " I have tasted and seen, I KNOW what you can do. God, I know you are my father, and even as a father will not give his son a snake when he asks for a fish ( from Matthew 7:10), surely you will answer my prayer. Keep giving me opportunities to trust you so that one day I can tell these stories to the world. You give me life, let me use my life for your glory. I am not afraid!"......."God please answer us! Don't forsake us, Lord! You know our needs, I trust in You and You alone! Plant beautiful trees in this desert, that they may grow and flourish, and all who know us will see that YOU are God! (Isaiah 44) Your hand is what will provide for us and people will put their faith in you. I count our sufferings as gain, even more through these trials will our faith be grown in you, and in turn the faith of those around us.( I will not lose hope! I will not give up! I will keep asking you Lord. Surely God you will look down on us with mercy and move your hand in our circumstances. If you do not, our faith will still grow as we trust in your sovereignty. You know what we need and your very breath has enough power to change our lives forever in a moment. God I present to you my case, I leave it at your feet ( Philippians 4:6) Hear me, Abba Father! You are my Daddy! Some ask for riches, success, for things of this world- God take those things from us but provide for us a way to reach the world for you! To go to Africa. To bring Akwasi home. To teach him about you. Hear my prayer of faith God!"

 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:2-7)